The Naming of Pickles
by Ginakabina
Summary: Molly is pregnant with an unborn child but struggles about what to name her unborn son...


Okay. I revised this from the boards. It was mah sister's NoelyRolly's and she said I could use it.

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Years ago in Tomahawk Wisconsin...

Molly yelled at her husband "Calvert, What the hell are we gonna name this god damn kid?"

Calvert looks at his plump and pregnant wife grubbing on a pickle with a baby name book in her other hand .He sighs and looks down at his drink.

Calvert huffed "your chose, you named Seth anyway."

Molly nervously wondered aloud " How bout another "S" name?"

Calvert takes a swig of his tequila " Sure why not."

Molly said, confusingly " Samuel or Sebastian?"

Calvert rolled his eyes "Neither they both are dumb plus, what if its a girl, Molly"

Molly screamed " No. My mother said my ankles aren't swollen enough to be a girl."

Calvert rolls his eyes.

Molly took the last bite of her pickle "Honey go get me another pickle...please."

Calvert huffed and obeyed his very pregnant wife. He looks into the refrigerator. His worst nightmare has happened ,no more pickles in the jar!

Calvert stuttered "Ummm. Molly, don't be mad they are no pickles left."

"What the (guitar riff ) do u MEAN there's no more (guitar riffing) PICKLES! Well don't stand there do something! go get me some (guitar riffing) PICKLEES! now!"

Calvert rushed to his car he sat there for a moment.

"The I really should of wore that condom." Calvert goes and drives off to the store.

Meanwhile, sitting on the bed Molly is super mad.. She has no food. No names for the baby.

She looks down at the bay name book. Scott? Seymour? Shawn? Sheldon? Shelton? Simon? Solomon? Sonny? Stanley? Steve? Stefan? Stu? Sullivan? Sulu? Molly sits on the bed for about 10 minutes and thinks. Soon the 10 minutes have passed and Seth has returned home from 1st grade.

The young child asked "Mommy, can u make me a sandwich?"

Molly sighed " Sure why not"

Seth curiously wondered "Mommy, why are u preg- a -net? and were did the baby come from?"

Molly blushed " The magic baby fairy came."

Seth smiled " But I heard u and daddee say that it was dad dee's fault for (guitar riffing) you. What does (guitar riffing) mean?"

Molly ignored her son " Uhh, Seth lets go get you that sandwich."

They both walk down the steps to the kitchen. Molly soon whips up a PB&J

Seth made an evil smile " I wanna (guitar riff) this sandwich".

"Don't say naughty words Sethy Pie." The stunned pregnant woman commanded.

At that second Calvert walks through the door., Carrying a bag from the store.

Calvert nervously asked " Hello son, how was school to day?''

Seth shrugged his shoulders " I wanna (guitar riff) school."

"Molly got u your pickles u wanted" Calvert ignored his son.

Molly hungrily grabs the bag and tries to open to pickle jar. She cannot. So she smashes the pickle jar on the floor. Seth does the same with his plate.

Molly then eats a pickle off the floor. She spits it out.

Molly yowled at the top of her lungs " What the (guitar riff ) is this (guitar riffing)?"

Calvert said flatly " a pickle."

His wife screeched "What KIND! of pickle?"

Calvert shrugged " Um I don't know."

The furious pregnant lady hissed " This isn't (guitar riffing) good it isn't clean! it isn't KOSHER!"

Calvert was now getting angry " Were not (guitar riffing) Jewish so why should your fat ass care?"

Molly then runs, well waddles , to their room Calvert then sighs and gets the tequila from the top of the refrigerator.

Seth innocently asked " Dad dee. Why is mom mee- soo mad all the time to you?"

The father took a shot of tequila " Because well she is mad at me for well...coloring...on...her ...walls."

Seth guessed "like the time she didn't give me a cookie because I drew a doggie on the wall."

Calvert grunted " Sorta like that."

The little boy hugs his father " I love you always dad-dee. No matter WHAT you do to my walls."

Seth goes up the stairs smiling with his two front teeth missing .Calvert then chugs a little of tequila,Then takes a pickle off the floor and chews it, he spits is out.

Calvert gaggs " Molly, was right. these things ARE (guitar riff)"

Meanwhile up the staircase.

Seth knocks on his parents door " Mom- mee. I know what u could name the baby."

Molly rolled her eyes " Seth come in and tell me."

Seth opens the door,

Molly purrs smiling at her son " Tell me Sethy Pie."

Seth giggled " Well because you eat a lot of Pickles u should name him...Pickles."

Molly thought for a while then says " PERFECT! oh Seth I hope this baby is as smart as you.."

Many months of mood swings later….

Molly has just given birth to a baby boy, Molly notices that the baby isn't crying. But the baby is making a wheezing sound. About a second after birth the baby boy is being whisked away

" I KNEW it would be a boy" Molly's Mother said cheerfully

Molly sits up with perspiration on her face, "You think he will be alright?"

Molly Mother cheekily asked " Yes honey...What are u naming him?."

Molly shook her head " I gotta see him first."

15 minutes of Molly's Mother annoyance, a small baby is being handed to Molly.

Molly nervously asked " Is he ok? I heard wheezing.."

" Yes he is fine...just that he has asthma." The nurse smiled

Molly looks at the baby with the big green eyes a lot of red hair.

Talking for the first time since Molly went into labor, Calvert cooed " Look at that little peach fuzz."

Molly's Mother asked " Well what are you going to name him.?"

" Pickles."

Molly's Mother backs her head back, surprised "Pickles?"

Molly proudly smiled " Yes Seth recommended it"

Calvert and Molly's Mother sighed .

5 years later Pickles is already being ignored. Seth is in sports and their parents love him and never pay any attention to Pickles even though Pickles is the younger one.

Soon Pickles soon finds a friend Tony Thunderbottom they both decided that once they get big they are going to be in a big band that they will call Snakes n Barrels ,after their favorite game. Little did they know that Snakes n Barrels isn't the name of the game, its Shoots n Ladders.


End file.
